Your voice has to do a lot when it comes to communication to the world…But hang on, is it only voice or more…
Here we are, during our NLP Practitioners courses and training we meet many new people from diverse cultures. I remember participating in one of the International Coaching Program last year at Portugal and meeting more than 120 people from all over the world. And our task is to engage, communicate with most of them. How do we do it effectively? When there is a difference of cultures, beliefs, values, and more importantly language, how would we build rapport, how would we connect, how would we still be able to develop and learn from others.
Here is one simple tip and by doing it in the right way, you can get new experiences by your own results.
- Mirroring and Matching Person Style: In any conversation, to have a lasting impact, you need to not push your style, rather you can match other person styles. Think about it, if I talk more about your place, your style, your food, you are more comfortable. The same way, if I talk more like you (I specifically mean your style of talking) and not more like me, Your unconscious will start liking and getting influence at the auto process. And the good news is, you may do it subtly with mirroring and matching many things.
Here is a list of things you could do:
- Match Words. Any person uses a specific bank of words from Visual/Auditory/Kinesthetic System. Pick up the right predicate. See/picture/clear/look are more from Visual category; Hear/listen/silent/discuss are more from auditory system; touch/connect/grasp/hold are more from Kinesthetic category.
- Match – tonality, pitch, tempo, high and lows.
- Match physiology – small hand movements, leg movements, eye movements, space, full body matching or half body matching. You will not mirror. You will match sequentially.
- You would notice by doing so, at the auto level your breathing starts matching. The moment the breath match, you have influenced a person at the auto level.
- Homework- Wanna try, let’s give you a task – go and start matching the way your son/daughter talk/does anything, just exactly the way they do, is the way you do…And observe; you are going to enjoy the relationship more.
However, in personal life and professional life, the difference is that you do it more subtly in professional life. It is not copying (an example would be, I scratch head and you do too, though it does happen with people
in deep rapport, activating mirror neurons). It is mirroring and matching. When you match you follow a sequence and build “Advance Rapport” (I call this technique as advance rapport) at the unconscious level.
Remember you are mirroring andmatching sequences of similarities.
Do let me know your feedback on this. If you have any further questions on this, feel free to ask them.